thanx
Tuesday, Dec. 10, 2002 - 3:18 p.m.

Firstly, some things to address.

Im starting to truely learn more and more about living and what it is to be a person. all these cliches that you hear on tv shows make so much sense to me. The whole, needing to move out, needing to figure the world out on ur own. well thats all true.

I am at a point in my life now where i can honestly say that for the first time, i feel excited and confident in the makings of my career. I no longer hope for something good. But i KNOW that i am going to, and i will make it.

The next month is going to be interesting. I feel like i've been blessed in so many ways. how many people are honestly given the chance to go off and do what im about to do? to be able to go off into a brand new city, and just have school to worry about? i dont have to worry about bills or anything like that. i am so thankful for my loving parents who suport me right now. i never knew how much they loved me until now. muah.

secondly, i am becoming more and more intouch with myself. when i go back and look at the person i was in higschool, i cringe. who was that? i hated myself in highschool, i look back and think that i had no confidence whatsoever. no self esteem. I constantly tried to mold myself psycology into this person that i just wasn't. the cliche "just be yourself" proves to be very signifigant. I've learned that you can run around in cirlces forever if you have to in a life time, finding short little bursts of happiness when you've found a new identity that will attract a new group of people, but after a while, it all dies down. YOu have to figure it out again...and again.

i finally love myself now. I am not afraid to say it. I love the way i am. i love the way i look. i love my friends. i love what i am about to start.

i even love the fact that i haven't been able to find love yet because now that i think about it, its because I haven't found anyone good enough for me.

i was so consumed with just wanting that title of being in a relationship in the past that i almost became desperate. well, now i see that i stil have a whole world otu there for me to conquer. it will come, i know it.

thank you. for everything