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im FAT
Friday, Aug. 16, 2002 - 10:42 p.m.
well, i just finished reading an entry of queerscribes, and let me tell you, the feelings he has towards himself right now, are completely what im feeling!i've gained, brace urselves, like 5 pounds this past week. Im back up to 145 ish...i have been kicked out of the skinny club and i can totally see where all the fat has gone. STraight to my belly and love handles..EEWWW!! well atleast thats what i think. u see, i have also been doing some weight training, so im not sure if the weight is entirely my gut or partial muscle growth...? apparently, im considered to be "muscular" says natalie from fitness world. An ideal muscle to fat ratio is 5:1 for males. Apparently, im at 8:1, but when i look at myself, all i see is fat, fat, and more fat. DO i have a problem? seriously. I wonder if im one of those ppl that seirously has a problem, but doesn't know it. but as far as just my weight, i am so tipsy curvy. i always go and eat well again once i think im fat, and i get back to my goal weight, then i say, "im beautiful, im thin, im ALLLOWED TO EAT whatever the hell i want, when iwant"...and so i do it, then four days later, i've gained like 5 pounds becuz im eating like 5 chicken legs at 1 am in the morning..im such a moron. ANywho,t his time, when i get back to 140...im going to keep it that way and not screw mself over. Im going for a 30 min jog now. i'll be back later ps: why are gay men so wierd about weight?
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